Oh, my God. I honestly didn't realise how long it'd been since myself or Amy have blogged, I feel so bad for neglecting it! I think though, that we have both been wayyy too busy to blog, especially on a schedule. I know that I can barely keep on top of schoolwork let alone running a blog as well and that's really sad... Sigh. Anyway, I don't now about Amy but I just try and keep as regular as I can because I miss blogging! Moving on, I'm going to fill you in;
1: School
I feel like I'm actually doing okay in school at the moment? Which is something I never thought I'd be able to say... My grades are pretty decent; A in Maths, A* in English (Literature and Language), Bs in Science, A in Media and pretty much Bs in everything else... I'm pretty happy with that! My school just recently had a mock week and it was the first time I actually tried, in previous mock weeks I had obviously tried but this time I really revised and it paid off! (I managed to get an A in Biology!) Despite my grades at the moment, I'm dreading exams as I have a feeling panic will overwhelm me and affect my grades massively... I really hope that's not the case but if I try my best then I guess that's all I can do?
2: College/ Sixth Form
In three months I officially leave secondary school! I honestly cannot wait, I'm really looking forward to it, not because I don't enjoy school (well, I don't enjoy the amount of stress and pressure it brings a long with it), but because I can't wait to be studying subjects that I love in more depth and being able to focus on them. I'm not 100% on where I'm going on what I'm taking yet but I've applied to a lot of place to keep my options open, but I think I might stay onto to do sixth form at my school as I they have the courses I want, I like all the teachers, plus there's an underlying sense of security and comfort which is always a good thing. Wherever I go, I' going to be taking either 3 or 4 A-levels; if I were to stay at my school to do sixth form, if possible, I want to take English Literature, Media Studies, Maths and Creative Writing. However, if I go to a college then I think I will be taking English Literature, Media Studies and Photography! I love all of the subjects previously mentioned and I'm looking forward to furthering my love and knowledge for them!
3: Life
So much has happened in the past few months... I've come out of a very long relationship, Amy has begun a hopefully long-lasting one, Amy finalised her decision to move back with her Mum in Redditch, we've both argued more time than we care to remember, I've fallen out with numerous and let a few go for good... Not going to lie, I'm not a person who particularly likes change but that's something you just have to go with as there's nothing you can do to stop it; change is inevitable. I know for a fact that I in myself have changed massively, especially in the past year, I'm not going to specify how as that's not really important nor is it relevant. I can feel myself changing everyday and growing, hopefully into a better person, I'm becoming less jealous and envious of others and becoming more confident in myself, I'm nowhere near actually have a sustained confidence in myself but you've got to start somewhere. I haven't been very happy lately as I've really been let things get to me and that's really not anyway to go about life so I think I'm finally beginning to ignore people who are thoughtless and selfish and focus on the people who care and aren't afraid to express love or clarity - those people are the ones you should surround yourself with, not the people who hurt you purposely or try to make you feel stupid or bad or put you down or anything that has a negative affect on you. Those people are not worth your time. I always let others affect how I feel and that's really not necessary - YOU are the only person who can control your feelings and emotions, no one else has the ability to do so. So if anyone, even if it's your best friend, is being small-minded or arrogant or patronising or anything that's making you feel down, pick yourself back up and remember that you are the better one.
Okay, so I kind of went on a bit of a tangent there but I definitely feel better now! Here's a quote that On that note, here's a quote I feel very apt;
"Why not just say goodbye to the bad things? Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost. To all the times it was a no, instead of a yes. To all the scales and bruises. To all the heartache. Say goodbye to everything you really want to do for the last time."
Megan x
